death in four easy steps


you chose me
out of all the girls waiting in line
you looked at my bright blue eyes and thought,
"what a pure soul. so perfect to destroy."


through the weeks, you led me through a series
of planned-out actions.
events that would leave me crushed and buried beneath you.
you were so methodical, always so careful
to cover your tracks.


you began small. you said she was a close friend.
she told me she was your girlfriend.

i was chosen that day.
made to bleed and fight for you and bleed some more
and you enjoyed
every
second of it.

you said it gave you something to write about.

but I am not your muse.


you eased me into things, didn't you?
you got me to trust you above all else.
that way it would hurt more--
i wouldn't expect the blows.

as time went on, the lies grew thicker
hazier
it grew both easier and harder to see through them at the same time.

sexual history, past feelings, current status. all lies.

you told me you would never lie again
you somehow got me to put all my trust in you.

i was chosen that day.
made to bleed and fight for you and bleed some more
and you enjoyed
every
second of it.

you said it gave you something to write about.

but I am not your muse.